


Monsters

by biteymadangelofthelord



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, It's bad, about the westboro baptist church, hastily written in like five minutes, i hate them, seriously, so here's something about how much i hate them, so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 01:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biteymadangelofthelord/pseuds/biteymadangelofthelord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off <a href="http://quiescent-anhedonia.tumblr.com/post/55478927922/in-a-startling-turn-of-events-heaven-and-hell-get">this</a> post on tumblr. I couldn't resist. Crowley and Naomi arguing about who gets the members of Westboro Baptist church after they kick the bucket.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> I'm liberal. And bisexual. So yeah, screw them all.

"Not a chance in hell, Sweetheart."

"Crowley! They belong in hell!" Naomi shouted at the ex-crossroads demon.

"I'm thinking….no. They're on the God squad after all." Naomi smoothed her red hair back against her head. Yes, the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka Kansas had been preaching their filth under her father's name, but they were _not_ doing the Lord's work by any means and there was no way she was going to allow those monsters in _her_ Heaven. Why did all of her problems seem to start with that god forsaken state smack down in the middle of the _worst_ country in the world. So many sins these Americans brushed aside as normal on a daily basis. How did they sleep at night?First the Winchesters and now these idiots who thought they were doing God's work. Like her father actually cared about something as trifling as gender and who was _allowed_ to love each other.

"The atrocities they've committed!"

"In God's name, I might add." Crowley smirked. Naomi glowered at the demon.

"They can't go to Heaven. I won't allow it." 

"Well those bible thumping bastards certainly aren't mucking up my hell, now are they?"

"Where else are they supposed to go? They're terrible people and terrible people go to hell!"

"We do have some integrity, darling," Crowley drawled. "They'll give hell a bad name."

"And how am I supposed to allow them in Heaven?"

"You'll think of something, I'm sure."

"They're detestable! You put up with detestable people everyday! You have murderers and thieves and the worst sort of human beings! What's a few 'bible thumpers', as you so eloquently put it?" 

"It would seem that neither of us is going to budge." Crowley told her, summing up the situation nicely, she thought.

"That would be a no."

"So what's to be done? Neither of us want them. Hell, neither of us will even tolerate them!" Both angel and demon fell silent for a moment, pondering before Crowley spoke again.

"There's always purgatory. You know, stick them in the slammer with all the other monsters. See how long they last." Crowley's eyes brightened. "We could sell tickets!" 

"Purgatory does have a nice sound to it. Then neither of us would have to put up with them long."

"Sounds like a plan, angel-face. When those twits die, they're going straight to Purgatory. Good talk." Crowley disappeared after that, leaving Naomi to smile slightly. It would seem that in some things, Heaven and Hell were in agreement. Nobody liked those ignorant savages who were too busy screaming about how homosexuality is a sin to even look at their own behavior. 

Monsters indeed. Purgatory would do nicely.


End file.
